I was looking at the title of the blog and realizing something. Right now, I see life as very uninspiring. I am not quite sure what I am doing with myself right now or where I am going. Yet, I am oddly okay with that. Sure, not all of me is and I feel the looming effects of my seasonal depression occasionally, but I really am okay. I have started a new life and so far it is absolutely nothing like I thought it would be. That relationship that I thought would change everything for me, did. Just not in the way that I had planned. But if there is one thing that I truly know, it is that my plans rarely, if ever, come true. I always have amazing sounding plans for my life and for my future. But my reality begs to differ and changes my plans constantly. And that inconsistency is somewhat comforting. It has been the way my life has worked for so long that I am not sure that I would know what to do with myself if it stopped.
I think that my unpredictable life is what leads me to love watching t.v. and movies and reading books all the time. Sure, I have a tendency to be critical of all of those things, but I love them because they allow me to escape from my reality. I usually will identify in some way to every thing I read or watch, but I know that they are not how my life is going and that is okay. And despite the fact that I wish that the predictability of a cheesy romantic comedy would be my reality, my crazy life never ceases to surprise me and I am determined to love it and live it out in the best way I can.
"I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life"
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